Okay, all you seasoned moms out there....here's the problem.
I have a child who pees all over the place. We won't mention her name. She is a typical "boy" in that she gets involved in playing until it's often too late to make it to the bathroom. Or so I thought. It didn't happen too often, but it had been starting to happen about once a week, which IS too often. Then it started happening even more, sometimes once a day. I'd ask her often, "do you need to go to the bathroom?" And she'd assure me she didn't. And I'd just tell her to go...and if nothing comes out, that's fine.
Then one day last week I discovered the sheets on her bed were all wet. After she woke up. Dry. After she got dressed for the day. And the sheets were dry. "What happened????" "I had to go and couldn't make it." Grumbling, I made her help me change the sheets.
Then there were puddles in front of the toilet. Frequent ones. She was spoken to. She was given a time out. She was spanked. (you have to understand...this was happening almost daily now)
Still, in the back of my mind, I wondered if I was being too hard on her. Granted, she's 4 and she should know better, but maybe.....
Then.....Sunday, we were getting ready to go out to eat. She was wearing her favorite flouncy pink skirt...and a red shirt. She informed me that she didn't HAVE any white or pink shirts to wear, only red. I knew better, so I hauled, I mean, asked her to go upstairs with me to go thru her drawers....but when we got up there, her bed -- her DRY bed -- was soaking wet. So were the underwear in the middle of the room. "What happened?" I cried again (not literally....yet). She informed me she couldn't make it downstairs. Then a light flickered...."Um, Susi (oops, you didn't read that, I wasn't going to name names!), why isn't your skirt wet? Your favorite pink skirt that you've been wearing all day?" "Well, when I felt the pee pee coming, I took my skirt off before I sat on the bed and went potty."
Okay, now the tears came. Literally. WHAT do I do to stop this behavior? A friend, a dear friend who loves my daughter very much, who leads our small group woman's Bible study (again, not mentioning names, you know who you are!) told me that God knew what He was doing when He gave her to me....she'd have killed her by this point (between this and other things you've read in the past week or so and even other things that have not been written). So please know, that isn't an option. I don't want to prove my dear friend wrong.
I'm fine with time outs. With spanking when necessary. With creative discipline (she's already not allowed to wear her princess dresses or twirly dresses for another month because she keeps writing all over herself and everything near her with pens and markers...even though she's not allowed to use them...and since they're all put up, I don't know where she's getting them!!! But it's working...she hasn't written on herself or anything else in two weeks, except for paper, with a pencil or crayon). But time outs aren't working. Spanking isn't working. Talking with her isn't working. Making her clean up the urine isn't working (yep, she's doing that, too, and having a genuine Cinderella attitude while scrubbing things up -- guess who is the evil stepsisters and stepmother all rolled in to one?). I've taken away her twirly dresses and princess dresses. I told her next time she pees in her clothes, she'll wear them wet and stinky all day long -- so now she just pulls her clothes off before peeing in unconventional areas.
I took away her Cinderella doll...her favorite (for today) toy as punishment. No, it doesn't fit the crime, but I don't know what else to do. I did tell her five days without peeing any where except where she is supposed to will get her Cinderella back...otherwise, one of the local cousins will get it...and keep it forever. And I mean it. She sobbed, thinking nothing in the world could be more terrible.
Will it work? I'll keep ya posted.
But in the mean time...give me suggestions!!!!