tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post5048246833938655485..comments2023-05-25T09:10:16.179-05:00Comments on Linda's Life: I don't know how to title this one...LindaSuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01604827629464351668noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post-72044043165783850662008-05-25T23:10:00.000-05:002008-05-25T23:10:00.000-05:00thanks, Mar! I try and do the same...asking someo...thanks, Mar! I try and do the same...asking someone not to continue or telling them I prefer to hear it from the person themselves...but I've been accused of being "self-righteous" and at times there have been people who still continue, just talking louder than me just to "get it out" whether I want to hear it or not. It's hard dealing with it...especially when it's someone I'm close to. I agree also with not wanting my friends' spouse to know what I've shared...and it IS hard not to share with my spouse!LindaSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01604827629464351668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post-20942255543619993972008-05-24T19:43:00.000-05:002008-05-24T19:43:00.000-05:00Fred and I have had a policy since the beginning o...Fred and I have had a policy since the beginning of our marriage that we will only share things with the third party's permission. If they don't come right out and say, "You can share this with Fred" and I know it's a personal topic, I won't say a word. Sure it's hard, but I put myself in someone else's shoes and wonder if I would appreciate my friend's husband knowing something that I just shared in confidence with her. <BR/><BR/>I have also come to the conclusion that there are times when saying, "Please don't tell me anything else" or "This really isn't any of my business" is more important than pacifying a friendship. It's sooooo hard, but I think now my friends know that I won't participate in talk like that. Do I want to? Of course! I'm as curious as the next person, but it's gotten a whole lot easier to walk away from it.Marthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18272619172307382646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post-74700067492496485472008-05-21T15:07:00.000-05:002008-05-21T15:07:00.000-05:00good for Joe! And good for you! One of my strugg...good for Joe! And good for you! One of my struggles is in what is okay to share with Tony and what isn't. I've taken to asking someone (when they confide in me) if it would be okay to share with Tony or if they'd prefer I not. It's hard, not sharing something with your spouse, but I think to maintain one's integrity and trust-worthiness, ya gotta be careful not to say anything to anyone when confided in (although I also think there are some blurred lines in situations like any kind of abuse, or suicide threats or potential violence towards someone). I'm also thankful that neither my husband nor I aren't a physician, attorney, or clergy where more confidential stuff is known by one person... Ah, the tongue! And the urge to "share information" (GOSSIP!!) with others... I still fall short at times, but God's faithful to keep working on me! And it's a humbling thing to go back to someone whose confidence I broke and ask for forgiveness...LindaSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01604827629464351668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post-75566358909075507982008-05-21T11:12:00.000-05:002008-05-21T11:12:00.000-05:00Actually, I was going to say that I DON'T know thi...Actually, I was going to say that I DON'T know things because Joe does. He doesn't tell me. And if I do ask, he usually says, "I can't say." After enough of that response--I've gotten the hint! And I still feel that this standard should apply to most situations that I know.lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04405410870017812563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post-10418053722613664642008-05-20T21:41:00.000-05:002008-05-20T21:41:00.000-05:00regarding a pastor's wife (or Dr.'s) Gram had a go...regarding a pastor's wife (or Dr.'s) Gram had a good outlook: Don't ask him questions. If he chooses to tell you, that's a different story. Then when someone asks what did your husband have to say about this or that you can honestly say, "I didn't ask". Makes sense to me. I'm still working on this dily. Thanks for your prayers!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post-48544119387549446312008-05-20T14:52:00.000-05:002008-05-20T14:52:00.000-05:00thanks for sharing, Liz! I appreciate your commen...thanks for sharing, Liz! I appreciate your comments. I was thinking how hard it must be to be someone like you (dr wife) or pastor's wife where you know so much confidential stuff...often about people you are very close to...and how hard it must be not to say something to others...or even to them about being aware of their situation (if/when your husband needs to talk about things). BIG hugs!LindaSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01604827629464351668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3117532823734180507.post-16094555620793254412008-05-20T13:17:00.000-05:002008-05-20T13:17:00.000-05:00It is interesting being married to a man who, by l...It is interesting being married to a man who, by law, has to keep certain things confidential. It has shown me that it can be done and even must be done. His standard is the correct one.<BR/><BR/>I also think that very often people assume that what they are sharing will be kept in confidence, while I (as the listener) am NOT assuming that. I think I may be better assuming I MAY NOT share than that I may.<BR/><BR/>I have taken to Joe's habit--and the one you mention--of asking if I may share if I feel it's adventageous. Most often, the person prefers I don't.<BR/><BR/>I always have room to improve in this area. Thanks for the reminder.lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04405410870017812563noreply@blogger.com